If your existence feels like “fast-forward,” you’re not alone. Hence the reason I’m all about petite pauses. They are totally disruptive for my own good. 

I’ve been listening to women, having conversations with women and observing women, and many are not well. Behind the well-curated in-person and Instagram smiles, there’s overwhelm, chronic fatigue and feelings of despair.

When I closed my business two years ago, I was set to start another business project in the retail industry, one that I’d already spend tons of money on. But once I got quiet while resting, and had some time to think through my decision, it dawned on me that this is what hustle mode looks like. And it didn’t feel good one bit.

Why the rush to start another business? I just got out of one that was phenomenal, but super stressful, exhausting and overwhelming. So I decided to pause, and in that time the answers came. I decided not to move forward with the new business. Even though I knew better, there I was, in that moment, ready to do the most, which would have been the worst for my well-being.

We’ve been trained to stay loyal to a system that praises nonstop productivity, but our bodies were created for ebb and flow. And by the time we “catch ourselves” we’re empty, and useless to ourselves and anyone else. The compound effect is:

Stress on repeat 

Elevated cortisol, stubborn belly fat, and brain fog. On a recent podcast taping I had a brain fog moment in the middle of the session. LOL. This was the second time it happened. My thoughts took a stroll. And I’m aware that the stressful environment we currently live in plays a huge role. Can you relate?

Out-of-sync hormones 

Sleep that is hard to restore, and the mood swings. I’m happy to say that my sleep is pretty great. Every once in a while I’ll stay up past 10:30 or wake at 2am. And for the most part, major mood swings seem to be a thing of the past. But I know that’s not the case for everyone, especially those in the throes of perimenopause or those experiencing depression and other mental health challenges.

Nervous-system overload 

I can’t think of a person I’ve spoken to that’s not feeling the pull on their nervous system in these tumultuous times. Jaw tension, headaches, immune flare-ups that come out of nowhere. I’ve woken up at times with my jaw tightly clenched. And I think, “what the heck?” But I know immediately it’s my body holding on to something unresolved.

Joy drain 

That constant feeling of “something’s missing” even on days that feel aligned. This more than anything has been nudging me. Have you felt that way too? Last weekend I had such a great time with family, visited friends and then found myself in a small pub/bar with my daughters busting grooves on the dance floor . Sweet pea, the joy I felt. Get up and do something out the box fun.

With all that said, I want you to keep this in mind and tattoo it on your heart and in your mind. “You are not the problem.”  The pace of life is. And pace can be recalibrated.

5 gentler ways to serve that brilliant body today

Petite-pauses as medicine 

I’m like a broken record with this message – Pause. In Qigong we have a saying, “move with intention rather than force.” It’s one of the keys to maximizing Qi flow. Nothing forced is ever fruitful. Be intentional about your restorative time. Set the intention to do what’s needed to feel well. Set a 90-minute work timer. When it chirps, get to pausing. A few rounds of 4-7-8 breathing,  you can watch the clouds or people go by, mediate for two minutes, do a Qigong loop for two minutes. Watch how clarity creeps back in.

Move like water, not weights

Flow. I’m always using myself as an example because I’m a student learning how to truly live. The Qigong exercises I do are called flows because they are like water. So swap one “burn-it-all” workout this week for a fluid walk (not brisk), a qigong flow with me on Tuesday mornings, or a breath works session. Gentle circulation + lymph flow = lower inflammation,  longer vitality.

Feed your calm 

The foods we eat directly affect how we feel. Pair protein (think lentils, salmon, or eggs) with fiber-rich color at every meal. Stable blood sugar steadies mood swings and keeps you from feeling fatigued and finished by mid afternoon. I’m currently working on getting more protein into my daily intake. We’re all trying.

Protect your peace 

I know you hear this all the time. But some quiet time is protecting your peace. Drowning out the noise of social media with tech-free time during the day and at least one hour before bed can help. This is one of the things I’m working on and I’m moving with intention rather than force. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Set the intention to set aside your device and work toward accomplishing that goal. And in the words of the dear great Aaliyah, “ if at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again.”

Name claim and share the weight 

I learned this from my therapist, and it works beautifully. I guess you can say it’s vulnerability. Share your overwhelm in community—whether that’s the Pause Pod Community, a trusted friend, or a professional guide (therapist, coach). Air out those feelings so they can lose their chokehold on you and get support, which can be the catalyst for healing change.

My challenge to you:

Choose one of the five and commit. Write it on a sticky note, set a calendar nudge, tell a friend. Small actions can lead to big changes.

Remember: slowing down is not quitting – it’s a restorative practice, just like meditation, breath works or Qigong. It’ll ensure you’re still walking briskly or dancing at ninety, not just dragging yourself around. 

I need only think of my three musketeers (Grannie (91), Mrs. Elaine (93), Mrs. Doris (94) and I’m realigned with my intentions. 

I’m pausing with you, for our healing and our blooming.