Menopause. It’s one of those words that used to be shrouded in mystery, discomfort, and sometimes even shame. Don’t get me wrong, that’s still the case for many. But there’s been a coming out of sorts, and many women are boldly and beautifully on board with the moment and movement that menopause is having.

I know this because I’ve spent over a decade in the throes of perimenopause, followed by four years in the post-menopausal phase. So I’ve been synced with the revelations and the revolution.

These years have been transformative, challenging, and ultimately enlightening. If you’re navigating this journey, or you soon will, I want to share some things I’ve learned along the way. Menopause is more than a physical and emotional transition—it’s a message. A wake-up call, if you will. And it’s one we can all learn from.

The lessons are endless and continues. But here are ten I learned during my twelve years of perimenopause and four years post-menopause:

1. Menopause Is Not Something To Fear

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that menopause is not something to fear or avoid. It’s a stage of life that folks experience for a myriad of reasons, including aging into it, ovarian insufficiency, elective surgery, cancer treatments, total hysterectomies, etc.

There’s no need to dread it, and there’s certainly no shame in it. Our culture has often made us think of menopause as something negative, as though it’s something broken in us. But when we see it as an, inevitable transition—one that all women experience—we can embrace it with a sense of purpose rather than resistance. If it’s one thing menopause will teach you also is humility. Hunnies, it will humble you. But it doesn’t have to halt you.

2. It’s a Time to Reconnect with Your Body

Menopause is an invitation for you to pay attention to your body in ways you may not have before. During perimenopause, I learned the importance of tuning into the subtle sensations of my body, as I had been wrapped up in the demands of life, work, and supporting others.

As menopause approached, my body’s messages became louder—from uterine fibroids, acne, hot flashes, mood swings, dry skin, changes in energy levels and more. Menopause gave me the opportunity to listen, learn, unlearn, reconnect, and tune in to my needs in ways I hadn’t done before.

3. The Power of Rituals

During this time, I’ve learned that creating rituals—small, intentional acts—helps promote harmony in my body. And rituals have been a long-standing practice of mine. For example, I take time each day to practice breathing exercises, indulge in self-care routines, or simply pause to reflect. I call these reflections, Petite Pauses.

These rituals not only help manage symptoms but also provide a sense of grounding. They’ve become my form of self-love during this chaotic transition, and they make all the difference.

4. Hormones Aren’t the Enemy—They’re Teachers

I used to think of hormones as something that could either make me feel great or make me feel awful, with very little in-between. But menopause has taught me that hormones are teachers—they’re giving us important lessons about harmony, patience, and listening to our bodies. By learning about how they affect us, I’ve gained a new perspective on my emotional and physical health.

5. I’ve Gained a New Appreciation for Mental Health

Perimenopause, with its erratic shifts in hormones, often brings mood swings and irritability. But menopause has taught me just how vital mental health is, especially during transitions. And I’m particularly in attunement becasue mental health illness runs in both on my maternal farther and mother’s side of the family.

I’ve had to learn how to care for my mind, just as much as my body. Prayer, therapy, meditation, and creating emotional support networks have been invaluable. The power of asking for help has never been clearer.

6. My Journey Is Unique

Every woman’s experience with menopause is different. What your mama and sisters experienced, you may not. We all have unique bodies, life stories, and circumstances. What I’ve learned is that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to menopause. My journey has been shaped by my own history, health, and environment, and it’s important to remember that yours will be too.

Be open to educating yourself and learning about menopause, the available solutions and how they align with your needs, ethos and lifestyle. Embrace your own path and trust that you are navigating this transition in the way that’s right for you, and not others.

7. Health Is More Than the Absence of Illness

Menopause has shifted my perspective on health. It’s not just about not being sick—it’s about nourishing my body, mind, and spirit in a holistic way. I’ve had to change much of my habits, even though they weren’t bad. They just weren’t working for this time in my life. I now prioritize appropriate nutrition, exercise (i.e. weights), sleep, and mental health.

I focus on practices that sustain my well-being long-term rather than looking for quick fixes. Health is now about vitality and thriving, not simply surviving.

8. This Is a Time for Reinvention

One of the most beautiful gifts of menopause is the opportunity for reinvention. I don’t know, something weird happens in our brains and we become more assertive, and don’t give a damn about what’s not supporting our well-being. At least, this was the case for me.

I’ve realized that I don’t have to be who I was before. I don’t have to follow societal expectations. Menopause has allowed me to let go of old definitions of success and to create a new narrative for myself.

It’s been a chance to explore what truly matters to me now and step into new roles or passions I hadn’t previously imagined.

9. I’ve Embraced Impermanence

Menopause has taught me that everything is impermanent. My body, my emotions, and even my relationships are constantly evolving. The relationship I have with my daughters and husband are different than they were twelve years ago.

Understanding this has helped me become more accepting of the shifts that come with this phase of life. Menopause is a clear reminder that nothing stays the same forever, and that’s okay. Embracing impermanence has brought peace and acceptance.

10. There’s Strength in Community

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is the incredible power of community. The more I’ve connected with other women navigating this same transition, the more I realize we are not alone.

Navigating menopause can be isolating, but when we share our stories, our struggles, and our triumphs, we find strength in one another. I’ve seen firsthand how uplifting it is to have a space to talk openly about this journey—whether that’s with close friends, family, in The Pause Pod Community, at the Life In The Pause Festival or in broader communities of women.

Menopause is a message—a message that can transform us, help us grow, and encourage us to live our lives more fully. Through my twelve years of perimenopause and four years post-menopausal, I’ve learned these ten lessons, and I’m sure there’s more to discover as I continue on this journey.

I invite you to view menopause not as an ending but as an opportunity—a time to listen more closely to your body, honor your emotional health, and embrace the powerful woman you are becoming.

Here’s the thing sweet peas, this journey is not something to fear—it’s a message that invites you to grow. That may mean learning, unlearning, gathering your people, being in awareness, acknowledging/accepting and taking action. So let’s step forward into this next chapter, resourced, resilient and vibrant. We got this.