My 90‑year‑old grandmother recently lost the last of her two best friends –  Mrs. Doris, a 94‑year‑old matriarch who passed away a few days ago. 

Last year the other member of their trio, Mrs. Elaine died at 93. 

I fondly referred to them as the Three Musketeers because they were best friends – and together, outlived everyone in their generation (and some younger ones) in the village. 

Now my grandmother is the oldest person in the village. I suppose it’s proof that longevity can feel both like a blessing and a long, lonely road.

Here’s the reminder for us. Living longer means:

1. More years of wear‑and‑tear. Chronic conditions such as diabetes, osteoporosis, and cognitive decline can stack up if we don’t practice awareness. Remember, Awareness. Acknowledgement/acceptance and action.
2. Social circles dwindle. Friends and family move, retire, or pass away. According to a Harvard study, social isolation bumps the risk of premature death by as much as  30 percent.
3. Purpose may fade. When there is no more caregiving, or as the years add up, it may become challenging to find meaning.

That said, my grandmother and her friends did not sit around, (like they say in my country) “sucking sorrow.” Of course everyone experiences hardships. But they flowed through life with community and their spiritual practices.

Their lifestyles included, regular daily movement (housework, gardening, arts and crafts, taking care of people and animals);  engaging in community with family, church members and volunteering. And yes, they rested – early to bed, and Saturdays were set aside for rest and fellowship.

They created purpose and meaning in their lives and supported each other as best they could as they grew older.

Of course, there are other components like the foods they ate and less polluted environment. But I truly believe all these components contributed to their longevity and vitality. 

I remember two years ago while visiting home, my grandmother’s friend, Mrs. Elaine (same name as my grandmother) sent a large bag of provisions (ground foods-yams, dasheen) for my grandma. This 91 year old woman had her very own garden that she diligently tended to, and then shared the harvest with her community.

My grandmother would do the same. She had chickens and baked bread every other week, and she would collect eggs and share her baked goods. She’s still doing it at ninety.

A few weeks ago I asked, “grannie what are you doing today?’ She said, ”I’m baking.” I said, “who are baking all that stuff for?” And she says, “I give most of it away.” 

And her other friend Mrs. Doris did the same. They each had something to contribute to the community. And in returned they are and were loved deeply.

Here Are Some Steps We Can Take To Soften The Passage of Time: 

1. Move that body. A daily walk, kitchen‑dance session, or 10‑minute Qigong flow (me), Pilates, Zumba, Gardening, Weights, all keeps joints happy and mood up.
2. Eat the rainbow. Colorful plants, nourishing fats, and plenty of water feed every cell.
3. Sleep & sip. Seven‑plus hours of sleep and steady hydration are underrated superpowers.
4. Stay connected. Regular conversations, hugs, volunteering, finding your people/community.

If you’re already part of The Pause Pod community, consider this your nudge to lean in a little deeper this week: post a progress pic, share a story, ask for support or just pop into the pod and say hello.

If you’re reading from the outside, The Pause Pod is wide open. Remember, longevity with vitality is a we game, not a me game.

To many more vibrant years together, sweet peas!

And to the beautiful, phenomenal ones who have left us –  Mrs. Doris and Mrs. Elaine, Sleep in Heavenly Peace.