Reinventing my life started with a Self-care sabbatical! And it led to me finding my passion and purpose. But before we get to that, here’s a peek at the past for a little perspective.

A PEEK INTO MY PAST

I grew up in a tiny village of approximately three hundred people who were largely self-sufficient. Nature gave us a lot of what we needed to make the best of our lives.

My grandmother was my original DIY idol. She concocted medicines from the plants around our home and did everything from reupholstering furniture to sewing drapes and clothing, gardening, painting, crocheting, knitting, making straw hats, stuffed animals, and more. And yours truly got to learn how to do all of it.God only knows how appreciative I am. A girl can never be too skilled. But I digress.

My grandmother was my original DIY idol. She concocted medicines from the plants around our home and did everything from reupholstering furniture to sewing drapes and clothing, gardening, painting, crocheting, knitting, making straw hats, stuffed animals, and more. And yours truly got to learn how to do all of it. God only knows how appreciative I am. A girl can never be too skilled. But I digress.

My grandma’s medicinal DIY influence led to my fascination with the human body and my initial desire to become an OB-GYN. However, life led me down a very different path from the one I had imagined for myself.

After migrating to the United States at sixteen, life became overwhelming. I was thrust into an unfamiliar world where I had to work and mostly fend for myself. Long story short, I met a man, fell in love, and had a baby at nineteen. As you can imagine, my already complex life became even more complicated.

Because my grandmother raised me, I decided early on that I would raise my children, no matter what. And so my journey into motherhood began. I remember when my daughter was just a few months old, I was watching The Oprah Winfrey Show. Her guest was Cheryl Richardson. Oprah asked Cheryl if she had to choose between herself and her children, whom would she choose? To the audience’s dismay, Cheryl said she would choose herself.

Honestly, my reaction was probably like most people in the audience: Shock. Say what?

Cheryl’s response didn’t make sense to me because it wasn’t what I had learned. My model was to leave yourself undone while taking care of your children. It’s what my grandmother did, and it’s what most of the women I knew did as well. So, I archived that show somewhere in the back of my mind and carried on with what I knew.

BEFORE INTENTIONAL SELF-CARE

As time passed, I struggled with my relationship and professional life. But I resilient. At twenty-two, I began college, earned an academic scholarship to attend New York University, and didn’t look back. By twenty-six, I had earned a BA in Biomedical Science, a minor in Chemistry, and an M.S.Ed. in Teaching and Learning. And, my baby daddy—now husband—and I also purchased our first dream home.

I was moving through life proving to folks that a teenage mother could make something of herself. I knew I could, but somewhere inside, I still felt like I had to prove it. So the degrees, the home, the cars—they were validating.

But something still wasn’t quite right.

Life trickled on. At thirty-two, I had my second child and continued my familiar routine: working, paying bills, going on vacations, and taking care of my nuclear family. We were living the working-class “American Dream.” But it wasn’t my dream. In fact, I now know it was more of an American meme.

The years rolled by, and although I had told myself I would attend medical school once the kids got older, it never seemed possible. With two children thirteen years apart, how in the world was I going to make that happen?

Perhaps it was experiencing perimenopause at thirty-eight that gave me a jolt. Maybe it was the problems that arose in my marriage. Maybe it was both. I can’t say for sure. All I know is that I felt undone. I started thinking of myself as a woman undone—a woman with unfinished business that needed tending to. So, slowly but surely, I began reimagining my life.

My imagination ran with me as I began to visualize the possibilities. And as I allowed myself to go with the flow, the freedom to be truly me became an overwhelming desire. I did some inner work and began tapping into my creativity.

While still working as a teacher, I started a bath and body business. Once that took off. My creative juices just kept flowing. I had no clue what I was doing. I learned and tweaked things along the way, and yes, that led to failures. But failing was an option because I knew that was how I would learn. So I started, failed, started again, failed again, and started again.

When my desire for change became even more overwhelming at forty, I had my Eat, Pray, Love moment and quit my job for a self-care sabbatical. Somewhere around my thirty-eighth year, that conversation between Oprah Winfrey and Cheryl Richardson began replaying in my head.

Who would I choose—my family or me, the children or me? And lo and behold, I chose me first. But I also chose them. I learned that two things could be true at the same time. I could care for myself and care for my family. Choosing myself didn’t have to mean abandoning the people I loved. And that’s exactly what I did. My self-care sabbatical finally began to take shape.

AFTER INTENTIONAL SELF-CARE

In 2012, I resigned from my teaching job and jumped, trusting that God and life would catch me. Having children was easy compared with this. Stepping away from a steady job for a self-care sabbatical—into the unknown of joblessness and entrepreneurship—was the real scary shit. But I knew I had to move beyond fear.

I promised myself I would take things slowly and explore all the possibilities I envisioned for my life. I vowed to make self-care a priority, to be unapologetic about my care, to do something every day to nurture my body, mind, and spirit, and to take great care of myself while supporting others with love, goodness, and grace.

That personal vow would eventually become a vow shared by many women around the world who became part of the Global Women’s Self-Care Day community I created.

The decision to take a self-care sabbatical has been one of the best decisions of my life. I moved beyond fear and did in my forties what most of us are told to do in our twenties. I unlearned and learned. I began healing. I explored. I tried. I failed. I succeeded. I supported others. I sowed seeds. And somewhere along the way, I rediscovered old passions, discovered new ones, and found a deeper sense of purpose for this life.

WHERE I AM NOW

Now, at fifty-three, self-care remains a priority. I’m still moving beyond fear and continuing to support myself and others with as much love, goodness, and grace as I can.

My oldest daughter is thirty-three, and my youngest is twenty. And yet again, I’m reimagining my life. This time, however, I’m moving from empty nester to envision nester. You can learn more about that in The Pause Pod Community.

There is still so much I want to do with this life: become a better writer, maintain this blog, bring the passion projects I have in the works to life, travel more—both at home and abroad—and nurture my well-being throughout these postmenopausal years.

Call me a late bloomer. Call me what you will. What matters to me is that I’m blooming.

It is never too late to chart a new course for yourself. Is medical school still an option for me? No. I have no desire for that kind of stress. At this point in my life, I have financial, personal, health, and professional goals that excite me far more than medical school ever could.

I’ve changed. And so did that dream.

I guess you could say I’ll be doing in my fifties what most people are told to do in their thirties. Stick around. We’ll see together.

Age ain’t nothing but a number. Let your imagination run freely. Flow. Envision the possibilities for your life. Be gentle with yourself. Move from a place of patience. Pursue life with vitality rather than desperation, and embrace abundance instead of scarcity.

No one knows what the future holds. But moving beyond fear makes more room for love—love for self, love for others, and love for the things we feel called to do.

So, where are you right now on your life journey? Share in the comments below.